IFS Coaching & Enneagram Types

Last week I talked about the foundations of IFS and what it means to use it in IFS coaching sessions. A few weeks ago, I had a great conversation with Sarah Wallace, an expert in the Enneagram, about the overlap between the two models. Both IFS and the Enneagram have picked up quite a lot of interest in recent years for how well they are able to help people understand thoughts, feelings, and behaviors on a deeper level. So, how do they intersect, and which one might be right for you?

We covered the basics of IFS coaching and the model last week, but here’s a quick recap if you don’t want to click back through. IFS is a psychotherapy model developed in the 1990s. IFS teaches us that every human has “parts”, or sub-personalities within us - and that each part has its own thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. There are three categories of parts: managers, firefighters, and exiles.

Managers are motivated by proactive methods of keeping us safe (usually involves control and being stuck in the future). Firefighters are concerned with reactive safety - they activate when we are overwhelmed or otherwise threatened. Many firefighting parts hold addictions and self-harming behaviors. Exiles are the parts that both managers and firefighters are jumping into action to prevent from coming up, because exiles are parts of us that hold beliefs that are terrifying or otherwise overwhelming to our systems. They hold our pain and our traumas, and managers and firefighters are highly motivated to keep all of that pushed down.

The Enneagram is a personality typing test with nine distinct types of people. Like parts, each type has its own core fears, desires, and motivations. The Enneagram structures its model in a circle and teaches that each type is connected to two other types. The Enneagram can be used for personal or professional growth, and it’s a great way to gain self awareness about patterns in your relationships and the way you act.

In IFS, we have a concept called the Self (or inner wise leader) which is not a part. However, we have “Self-like parts”. These are the parts of you that are so strong (or have been around for so long) that they believe they are your core Self. When Sarah and I spoke, I hypothesized that people’s Enneagram primary type (and secondary types) may correspond with strong Self-like parts.

For example, I sometimes test as an Enneagram One, which is most simply deemed “The Perfectionist”. A perfectionist part is motivated by control and “getting things right”. I have a very strong Self-like perfectionist part. The Enneagram teaches that Type One’s deepest fear is making a mistake or otherwise being out of control. This aligns perfectly with the exiles my perfectionist part has tried to cover up that believe that we are fundamentally incapable or defective by overfunctioning.

Similarly, if we take the Enneagram Two (Helper), the Enneagram teaches that Twos are motivated by a desire to be loved and needed by others, and often put the needs of others before their own. With regard to the IFS model, a Two might have a strong "caretaker" part that is always looking out for the needs of others, sometimes to the detriment of their own well-being. They might also have a "pleaser" part that is afraid of disappointing others or being seen as selfish. Potential exiles underneath might believe that the person is fundamentally selfish or unable to make anyone happy. Another exile might be deeply afraid of being abandoned or left - so the paired protective part overcompensates with overcare behavior.

Although I only discussed the Enneagram One and Two, there are corresponding IFS framework parts for every Enneagram type. If you are a different type and are curious about the overlap, think through what your types core motivations and fears are. Typically, the motivations belong to protectors and fears belong to exiles. The type Eight is motivated by a desire to be independent and in control, so protectors would adapt those behaviors. Their deepest fear is being vulnerable and powerless - so a type Eight is likely harboring at least one exile who feels they are completely powerless. By identifying your Enneagram type and exploring the different parts of you that are involved in your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors, you can gain a deeper understanding of why you do what you do.

IFS Coaching and the Enneagram model both focus on development of self-awareness and self-compassion. Curiosity is a hallmark of both frameworks: Both teach us to be curious about our inner worlds and to approach ourselves with compassion. In IFS, getting curious about your parts allows you to unblend from them (that is, separate out your parts from your Self). This allows you to develop a trusting and compassionate relationship between your parts and your Self. Over time, this allows you to be aware when parts take over and react and shift to the Self hearing the parts out and making a decision to respond. Similarly, the Enneagram encourages individuals to recognize their patterns of behavior without judgment, and to work towards greater self-awareness and self-compassion.

For example, if a One gets growth-oriented feedback at work that they perceive as negative, it can really activate that perfectionist part, because they place such emphasis on never making any mistakes. That part may magnify the situation and worry about things like getting fired, or genuinely believe their boss thinks they are a terrible employee. Without awareness, that perfectionist might double down into obsessing about being perfect, and eventually that’s a recipe for burnout. With the ability to take a pause and unblend, the One can recognize that perfectionist part is trying to keep them safe through perfectionism, get some distance from it, and realize that the feedback was genuinely intended to help them grow and is not a threat, rather than to tell them they are a bad employee.

Similarly a Two might be in a situation where they feel like they are not able to help someone who they perceive to be in need. Their caretaker part might feel guilty and ashamed for not being able to help, while their pleaser part might start to worry about how this will affect their relationship with the person in need. By using IFS techniques like unblending and self-compassion, the Two can recognize that these parts are just trying to keep them safe and find a way to meet their needs in a way that is more aligned with their true self (not just a reaction to perceived danger).

Both the Enneagram and IFS Coaching can give you valuable insights about why you do the things you do and how to change your behaviors in a compassionate, nonjudgmental way. Regardless of whether you're looking to understand yourself better, improve your relationships, or cultivate professional growth, both models provide tools and deep insights to help you along the way.

If you’re curious to learn more about IFS Coaching, reach out here or take a look at this page for more information on how it works.

If you’re curious about the Enneagram, check out Sarah at the Enneagram MBA!