What can we learn from coaching flying trapeze?
At first glance, coaching circus arts and coaching executives may not seem to have much in common at all, other than the fact that both require a coach. However, there are a lot of lessons that executive coaches and leaders can learn from high-adrenaline sport coaching. Leaders must learn how to cultivate a calm, grounding presence and how to quickly build trust. They must overcome their fears to continually try new things, knowing they will sometimes fail.
When working with new flying trapeze students, a coach has a few minutes to convince that person they are trustworthy enough to take care of the student’s physical safety at great heights. When working for the first time with leaders, a coach has a similar timeframe to establish that they are trustworthy enough to take care of that person’s emotional safety. As it turns out, due to the way human psychology works, we react nearly identically to physical and emotional safety threats, and therefore have the same needs when it comes to who we trust to keep us safe in both cases.
One of the biggest fears that leaders and flying trapeze students often share is a fear of how they will look in front of other people. Students take their turns one at a time on the trapeze while everyone else watches. They are trying something new and scary in front of their friends and/or strangers. Similarly, leaders are always called upon for new solutions and methodologies because there are always new problems to solve. They are trying something new and scary in front of their colleagues and direct reports. In addition to feelings of general danger, both parties often have a fear of exposure – of being revealed to be something other than what they are trying to present themselves as.
When building trust with a new student or client, it’s very important that the coach has done their own grounding work. No person is going to feel truly at ease with a coach who does not appear to be comfortable with themselves or comfortable with the situation. It’s important that the coach is giving off the energy of being totally confident and present to help put clients or students at ease. In a new environment, all humans are wired to look for anything that could have a safety impact. Coaches who want to prove themselves safe and trustworthy need to use every tool at their disposal to avoid further amping up a client or student’s nervous system.
An important way to build trust is to be very clear about what you’re going to do, and then do it. This sounds simple, but it’s absolutely key. With a flying trapeze student, a coach uses this technique by narrating every single thing that is happening, no matter how small (like warning the student before they put a hand on their safety belt). With a leader client, a coach can use this technique by establishing a pattern at the beginning of the first session, and following through on it both throughout the session and in any continuing sessions. For example, telling a client that the coach will be taking notes used to help both parties keep track of what’s being worked on between sessions, then actually taking notes and using them to send recap and action item emails between sessions.
Finally, and perhaps most importantly, a coach should always walk a fine line between being very clear they fully believe in a client or student’s ability to do anything at all, while not overriding their consent. A coach should never force someone to do something that feels unsafe. Coaches cannot do things for their clients, nor should they. A student must elect to take the leap off the trapeze board themselves – however, a good coach can empower them to believe in their ability to do so where they might otherwise not have. Executive coaches cannot do the work of leaders for them, but they can hold a belief in their client’s abilities to do great things as the client’s belief in their abilities changes and expands.
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